Does She Come with the Car?

"Michael Woyahn" (michaelwoyahn)
02/17/2020 at 08:00 • Filed to: None

Over the course of my life, I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in Northern Wisconsin. Definitely enough for me to develop a decent understanding of the area, demographics, social norms, etc. However, it appears that Southworth Chevrolet Buick GMC has just broken into entirely unchartered territory lead by two plastic icons.

Many questions have been raised by this discovery. Do these mannequins have homes in the showroom? Do they have desks? Are they being paid for their service? Do they have names? For our purpose s, I believe they do. I will name the female mannequin Karen mainly due to her haircut.

Now, we really need to appreciate Karen’s range. She can go from a warm weather outfit to a full winter ensemble! And she can work it in front of any vehicle.

You also have to give it to Southside for being inclusive and having a male mannequin. Let’s call him Ed. Ed is just as well versed with his summer and winter looks!

This raises more questions. When do they swap out their clothes? Are Ed and Karen comfortable? Do they have changing rooms? Are the clothes taken right off of the salespeople’s backs? Are the clothes from the lube-techs? I hope Ed and Karen are only given the best.

Despite his screen time, Ed is still humble enough to pay attention to the used cars. Thanks to his graciousness, you still get the star treatment on a budget.

Diving in deeper, I think Southworth is onto something. This could be the new metric for car sizes. Looking online, you can see that Karen towers over the TourX and the Silverado is just taller than her. Arriving at the dealer, you can tell your friendly salesman, “I’m looking for a car that’s approximately 7 /8 's of a Karen .” He will then point you towards a Trax.

And w hen self-driving cars become the norm, instead of having an empty driver’s seat, you could have Ed hanging out up front to keep you company.

You truly have to applaud Karen and Ed for giving it their all. Their rise to fame is well-deserved. I can’t wait to see them in the new mid-engine Corvette. Hopefully Southworth invests in some racing suits and helmets. We all know they deserve it!

Southworth’s website is linked !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! if you’d like to check out their inventory and get to know Ed and Karen. Pay them a visit if you’d like to meet these stars in person!